Category Archives: relationships

Ending Blame and Defensiveness (How to Have the Shortest Argument ever)

“We always fight over the dumbest little things” “I don’t even remember how it started”   Often, conflicts over something very small are then fuelled by blame and defensiveness and blow up into a full-blown argument. The original problem gets lost because we have added so many layers of blame and defensiveness that we are […]

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It used to be so simple; you met someone, you dated for a few years, you married, and that was your partner…forever.   Maybe that unquestioning commitment or tolerant solidarity helped some couples ride the tough times, but it also sentenced others to lifelong misery. With new-age thinking arrived a more disposable or enrichment-centered approach to […]

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Why you should give your partner the ‘benefit of the doubt’.

Recently I heard someone say to their partner…”You know what I want?  I want the benefit of the doubt.  I want you to trust that when something happens, I don’t have the worst intentions towards you; that I’m not trying to hurt you.” I LOVE that.  Sometimes, when our resources are low or stress is […]

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